My team members don’t speak up. They say yes,
where they ought to have said no. Why do they not tell me what they really think” is a very common challenge that leaders share with me during my coaching sessions.
A few days back, I met up with my old colleagues. Food, beer, and fond reminiscences made for a great afternoon. Eventually, gossiping about toxic workplace experiences, we all reflected on how we used humor to speak the unspeakables.
How does this culture of “unspeakables” get institutionalized?
Fear of being punished and isolated for saying the unpleasant truth, is a very primal fear.
Unless leaders and groups make a conscious effort, we tend to sweep unpleasant and potentially indigestible truths under a blanket of collective silence.
Unspoken truths, silent lies and a culture of colluded silence can become like weeds, choking the reality out of focus. Very often this happens even at the highest levels, when silent lies and woodenly spoken sentences lead to false decisions or prevalent indecisions.
However, as a leader, you do have the power to create or break their culture of colluded silence.
How? By inviting debate and dialogue
The tone and quality of dialogue that you facilitate, shapes people’s behaviors, beliefs, the corporate culture -- more permanently than any reward system, structural change, or vision and values statement.
Let’s bring this change by starting small.
Ask yourself 3 honest questions:
1 How sincere is my search for answers?
2 Before I expect my team members to have the courage to speak up, have I consistently demonstrated courage to listen to unpleasant truths?
3 Am I assuming fragility in my team members, while not giving them honest feedback and depriving them of critical information which can help them do their job better?
Take a few moments to reflect, and continue your quest to model open, honest and decisive dialogue. Do write in to let me know your experience with this process.
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