Each of us wish to bring out our best, but at times we hesitate to look within and push boundaries. If you've felt this internal resistance, or know someone who has, this post is for YOU.
Sometimes, when I am asked to coach senior executives, their sponsor informs me that the person is somewhat “Non-Coachable” or has a “Low Coachability Index” (a strong resistance to change).
But I believe — there is no such thing as a “non-coachable” person. From a deep observation of the multiple coaching conversations I’ve had with such leaders, I discovered 2 important patterns:
1. Change Fatigue
We live in a culture where we are constantly focussed on the next thing: We need to become better.
Be better at our work.
Have better relationships.
Better our work-life balance.
Have more amazing experiences.
And on and on.
The price of this?
Our physical & mental health.
Our central nervous system is always in a state of arousal and never completely rested.
I see leaders becoming uncomfortable, when I ask — ‘What about you do you feel really really good about?’
Always in search of the “better”, we miss to acknowledge and celebrate our big/small wins. This leads to deficits in dopamine — the fuel that will keep us motivated for the next big thing.
It puts us in a form of tiredness that I call ‘The Change Fatigue’.
2. Unawareness of our Space Time Rhythm
Everything that we learn needs space, rhythm and time. For example, if I try to integrate a new habit into my life, like meditation - I need to think about 3 aspects:
(i) Space
The physical space (atmosphere) and also inner space - my willingness to adopt this practice.
(ii) Rhythm
It typically takes around 6 months for me, for a practice to become a habit that I can rely on. This is my rhythm of being able to make meditation an unconscious habit.
(iii) Time
During these 6 months, I have to be persistent, give it the time, energy and focus.
Ask yourself -
How much space, how much time and what is the rhythm needed for this new thing that you are trying to assimilate?
Together they make your unique thumbprint. Being aware of this can help release the energy needed to enable the change.
So, the next time you feel overwhelmed by change or find it hard to adapt, remember …. it might just be a lack of inner space or energy to fit in something new, at the moment.
In such instances, a pause is all that is needed.
Before walking any further, take a moment to acknowledge how far you've come. Allow yourself to feel the accomplishment - right down to the tips of your toes and the furthest corners of your heart. Let it energize you.
What was your recent win? Now is a good time to celebrate it.
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